One of my first journals was “How 20 minutes a day changed our marriage”, if you haven’t read it yet, go read it. It was about how we took 20 minutes a day after our toddler went to bed to just talk, before dishes, before shower ect and it got us out of the room mate stage. Now it is about 6 months later and this is where we are at.

 

We don’t do the 20 minute talk anymore after my toddler goes to bed because his bed time is now different based on when he naps but we still do it. We created a habit and we really enjoy it so we do it everyday. Now whenever we have a chance at the end of the day, we are just like hey lets have our talk and then we talk about whatever. Sometimes it’s 5 minutes at a time because we are busy and their sleep has been all over the place  and sometimes it’s over an hour but we always still put each other first and connect, before dishes, before tidying up ect.

 

Now that we are out of the room mate stage we don’t ever want to go back and if we start to fall into old habits we call each other on it. Good habits we have gotten back to because of our talks are kissing each other as soon as we get home, eating at least dinner together without our phones, little touches throughout the day. Just the little things you do with a romantic partner and not just a roommate. Plus all this is emotional foreplay which pays off later.

 

We are so proud of ourselves for getting out of this so early. I didn’t know this happens when you have a baby but it turns out it’s super normal. I have found for us the key is to be very intentional, since we are always stretched for time we have to pick each other everyday and be very intentional on spending time with each other. We used to love playing board games but haven’t really played since Ryden was born and we are finally in a place where if they are both asleep before 8 we take the opportunity to have an at home date night and play.