Get yourself a doula! Here's why I will now tell everyone to get a doula. For my first birth I didn't have a doula, part of it was because of COVID, it was just me and my husband which ended up being really nice but he did wish he had a little more help.

 

During my first appt with my midwife she mentioned getting a doula and said even her as a midwife had a doula and that they can be very helpful. I was also eligible for a grant to pay for my doula so I decided to look into it. I had a very traumatic birth the first time so I decided and since even my midwife had a doula I figured I'd give it a try plus I didn't have to pay for it.

 

I picked my doula just by gut feeling. I wanted someone a little older so it was more like a mother figure taking care of me vs a peer. I ended up picking someone very new but my midwife said the most important is to pick someone you're comfortable with.

 

Once I picked her and everything was signed I was able to text her whenever I wanted about anything. This was a nice bonus but with it being my second birth I didn't need this service. It was nice to just rant about feeling gross though. 

 

For the actual labor though it was amazing to have her. She is a professional support person so she knew what to do. She knew what to do and my husband knows me so they made a great team. I would just mention I'm cold and she'd be like do you want some tea, or I'd say my leg hurts and she'd say do you want me to massage it. I was just saying those things to complain but right away she wanted to help fix it. She also helped my husband by telling him what to tell me. For example she told me to breath out and my husband took that advice and put it in a visual I would understand which was pretending to blow in my dog's face.

 

I also loved that it took the thinking out of it, I didn't have to think, she took the lead on things. I'd say I was uncomfortable and she'd give me options or I'd say I wanted a different position so she would give me options. It made my experience so much more enjoyable. I felt very empowered and present which I didn't feel during my first birth and I really wanted that for my second and she helped me get it. I think a lot of women are like my husband is supportive I don't need another support person but she's done this before she's a professional, she knows what to do. She is there for you and your husband. She spent way more time with my husband than she did with me. My husband also loved the support, he said that he liked he could take a break or just go to the bathroom without feeling guilty for leaving me. Also during the night my husband was able to sleep because she was there to grab me my water or do whatever else I needed.

 

Yes doulas seem like the price tag is up there but once you lay out everything you get it's a great deal and even though I didn't pay for it, it would have been worth every penny. I am so grateful she was there. My second time around was a very positive experience and she is a part of that and I will always be connected to her in that way.